The “To Don’t” List

By Steph Fink

I am a “To Do” list-making lunatic.  I’m not kidding.  I’ve been known to make lists of the lists that I’ve wanted to write up.  While my list-making “skill set” proved valuable to my family when we moved last year, it has been equally unhelpful in distracting me from the real meaning of Christmas.   If not on guard, I can checklist the holidays like it's a race to "get through" Or, I can intentionally celebrate Christmas as God intended.  So with an honest heart, I drafted an entirely new list, the “To Don’t List”.

* Facebook my friend - call instead!

* Wrap a gift with a rushed-negative heart!

* Eat a Christmas cookie alone, they're always sweeter with a friend! 

* Fret over the Christmas letter, family picture and change of address cards.  This year I made a joint Christmas greeting/change of address postcard.

* Be rude to the people that are in the Christmas postcard picture while addressing them to go out!  

*Allow the person that stole my parking spot (the blinker told you it was mine!) to steal my joy.  No, I'll confuse em'...I'll smile and wave like we're old friends (cause we would be if you’d stop stealing my spot!).

* Buy anything that I don't have enough money to.

* Forget the best present ever!  No, not the Atari, Cabbage Patch Kid, leg warmers or my Kodak disc camera when I was a child. Jesus!  Jesus’ birth, the life that gave me new life, hope and freedom to love the person who stole my parking spot!

This Christmas season, will you draft a new list…a “To Don’t” list, so your “To Do” lists don’t cram out the real reason for the season?

What’s one thing on your “To Don’t List?”

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the
northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing
God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright
Light".


Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

The MBN Syndrome

By Steph Fink

I've been infected with a rather contagious syndrome.  I wonder if you've ever been contaminated with it?

I saw a skinny woman "house" a huge plate of food and thought, “MUST BE NICE” as this caged tiger continues to count her Weight Watchers' points.

I saw the cleaning crew outside my neighbor's home and thought, “MUST BE NICE" as I just finished using my Pampered Chef scraper to "clean" the top shelf of my fridge.

I heard a friend say, "Oh, my parents took the kids to give me a break" and thought, “MUST BE NICE” as I remember there are so many layers to grief and how much I miss my mom not being here on earth.

I heard a friend tell me, "Oh, my husband's going away for eleven days next month" and I thought, "MUST BE NICE" as I was smack dab in the middle of my husband’s three month trip in Europe.

The "MBN" syndrome is a pretty potent disorder...it's rooted in self-centered and distorted thinking. 

Have you ever thought those three words, “Must be nice!”?

Romans 12:2 talks about the "renewing of your mind" and not conforming to the normal patterns of this world.

The best way I know how to renew my mind is to say, "Thank you".  Some days I have to dig a little deeper to find the "thank you" in the moment.  That particular day was no exception.

I saw this saying on my friend’s Facebook page, “What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?”

That one gave me a little jolt back into reality!

Thank you, Lord, that I have enough food in my pantry that I can count points. (So what if I twitched saying and typing it?!)

Thank you, Lord, that I have a beautiful home to clean.

Thank you, Lord, that I have amazing friends and babysitters to help when I need a break.

Thank you, Lord, that I have an amazing hubby. 

Thank you that I have a hubby that helps and I desire to be with. (Because there was a time...)

Where have you been most vulnerable to see the MBN Syndrome pop up?  As Thanksgiving approaches, what are you thankful for today?

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

Too Bent or Two Bent?

By Steph Fink

By all recognizable measures, the holidays are here.  I love wandering through the stores all decked out in pumpkins, turkeys and Christmas trees…while I’m still wearing my flip flops!  While all the retail stores seem ahead of schedule, a lot of the time, I feel behind; not just during the holidays, but in my daily life.

All throughout the year, I love having friends over.  But there’s one little catch.  I’m not all that great of a cook.  I’m a good organizer, but not a great cook. Never once have I had a friend enter into our home saying, “I can’t wait to dig into your soufflé a-la-something.”  There’s no soufflé, it’s just us. While I do serve food, it will most likely be a basic meal, perhaps a COSTCO purchase.  Sure, I want to make a nice meal and provide a relatively clean home.   But I care more about the laughs, the relationships, the connecting and the memories.


One small gesture that I like to do, when I entertain, is put out fun, festive and other-than-white-napkins.   It's not much, just one small gesture, which shows a small amount of honor to our guests. I no longer want to get "too bent" over elaborate preparations but spend more time having fun with our guests.  While I still struggle with my culinary expertise deficiency, God continues to deal with me about how I get "too bent" about life sometimes.


On one particular day, I felt drawn to kneel before God to pray.  Kneeling, like the napkin, is just one small gesture...that shows honor.  In Luke 10:38-42 you find Mary who sat and welcomed Jesus as she entertained.  In contrast, her sister Martha fretted over the details, more than her guest. 
I don't want to get too bent, but live a life on two bent knees...that's the Mary vs. Martha difference in a nutshell.  I decided I'm going to pursue to be more like Mary, than Martha, and, I'm not talking about Martha Stewart!  The “main course” is fellowship.

This holiday season, will join me as I pursue letting go of being "too bent" and get down on "two bent" as a small gesture, to invite the right Guest before your guests arrive?

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the
northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing
God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright
Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

Need/Want Homework?

By Steph Fink

Homework - Never been a big fan.

I knew I needed to do it, but never once wanted to do it.

I wasn’t a big fan when I was going through school.

And I’m still not a fan as I’m helping my kids.

But like laundry and dust busting endless gold fish crumbs
and explaining why you need to close the bathroom door when we have company…I just do it.

I once, okay twice, had to Google my second graders
homework. That is one sad state of affairs I’ll tell you.   What, like you remember congruent,
similar and angles?

Well, this particular evening I was helping my kindergartner
with his homework.  His assignment
was to draw and write about two things you want and two things you needs then
write what the difference is between wants and needs?

All I know is that this assignment should prove entertaining
cause his vision of life is skewed at best and I’d like to live in the bubble
that my guy lives in.

Wants – piece o’ cake:  Candy and Mightyt Beans (they’re like a more hip Weeble
Wobble).

Needs – Jesus and food.

NEED IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WANT.

Wow, he said Jesus first!  The food he drew was a broccoli stalk and God.  When writing time came he wrote God
(two less letters makes a different in a kindergartners day ya know).   God was puffy, genderless very smiley person with no hair or
ears…

And while I was feeling rather less than as a mother, like
I’ve not been getting the grade.
Impatient, periodically irrational, certainly invisible  I’d been on him or rather him on me…I
felt that God hug me, that I wasn’t doing everything wrong like I had convinced
myself earlier in the day.  No, in
that moment I felt like everything I wasn’t.  Showered (was that too much information?), and showered in
God’s love and approval.

That was one homework assignment that I didn’t need to
Google but I did get a little giggle.
At just the right moment, God knows when I need a little pick me up.

I need God but want to be perfect.

I want and need Jesus love…acceptance cause I want to get
the grade.

This precious child of mine has an incredible power to wear
me down persuade those around that his want is really, really a need.  At times it gets to a point where
you’ll be certain that he does need said it.

I want to honor God so I need to stop trying to think I’m
going to parent perfect and then beat myself up each and every time I realize
it’s mission impossible.

Do you beat yourself up for not being a perfect parent,
too?  Where and when are you most
vulnerable to do so?  


Steph's
writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In
her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the
northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing
God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright
Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

Daily Inspirations- Girlfriends In God

Each day when I open up my in-box I find my daily email from Girlfriends in God. An email that is inspiring, quick to read and thought provoking. These emails are called Daily Devotions and are free to receive. Do you want a FREE daily dose of Girlfriends in God? Click here and sign-up today. “Girlfriends in God Daily Devotions”

Inspiration to get me through my hectic day

Each morning I turn on my computer, click get mail and it arrives. My daily inspiration/devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministry.

If you are like me and need a bit of inspiration to get you through your hectic day? Proverbs 31 daily devotions offer today's busy women/moms encouragement as they seek to draw closer to the heart of God.

Through "Encouragement for Today," you will be inspired as you read these encouraging daily devotions.

Click here to Sign up for your daily Proverbs 31 devotions to be set directly to your in-box.

Here is an example of what will arrive daily to your in-box.


A Financially-Productive Woman
25 Sep 2009
Glynnis Whitwer

"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes." Proverbs 31:24 (NIV)

In today's economy, I look for every way to save money. I'm a sale-shopping, coupon-clipping, leftover-loving woman. I'm a firm believer in Benjamin Franklin's well-known adage, "A penny saved is a penny earned." And this past couple of years, my family has certainly had to apply that to our lives in greater measure.

Sometimes, however, saving money just isn't enough. As many families face a reduced income due to layoffs and company closures, there are only so many ways to cut corners. So I'm also a believer in trying to make money in creative ways. As many of us wonder what the future holds financially, I'd like to suggest we look at a biblical example of how to use the resources we have within our homes to increase our families' incomes.

One of the best examples I know is found in Proverbs 31. Throughout chapter 31 we meet a woman who was a good manager of all her resources, and in verse 24, we learn that she used her weaving skills to make money. As I consider this women's ingenuity, I learn that she identified a need (merchants needed sashes) and then used her skills (making garments) and energy (selling them) to increase her family's financial well being.

I wonder if many of us overlook this principle as we face a financially shaky future with dread. Perhaps we don't need to look for an employer that is hiring, but instead should consider how to use the resources God has already given us. On a recent trip, I met a wonderful example of a woman doing just that. She is past retirement age, lives alone and wanted to bring in extra income. Since I'm a small business owner, our commonalities got us talking.

This productive woman buys used wool sweaters, shrinks them and sews them into designer mittens using other fabrics and decorative accents. Then she sells them in a local shop where she has a booth. That's not all she sells. She has added hand-made products made by women working at home in other countries, plus some unique new clothing items she buys and resells. It all started with a creative idea, the use of her talents and some energy to sell them.

Artistic talents aren't the only resource we have to help our families. Many people have other skills that can be used to increase incomes. Some examples are physical strength, athletic training, organization, planning, love of travel, cooking, gardening and cleaning. Many have families that can help. This past summer I watched a local landscaper work every week with his two sons by his side. They are a family pulling together when it counts most.

No one wishes for hard financial times – though we can learn much in them. When God is on our side, there are always opportunities waiting to be uncovered. Instead of dreading the future, perhaps God wants to tap into the unique resources He has planted within our lives and family for such a time as this.

Dear Lord, I thank You today for the many resources You have given me. Thank You for my life, for my mind, for what health I have and for the hope you offer. Please help me to see how I might use these resources to become more financially productive. Only You know the true depth of my needs. So today I ask for Your help. I know I can do all things through You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Work@Home: A Practical Guide for Women Who Want to Work from Home by Glynnis Whitwer

Learning to Live Financially Free by Marybeth and Curt Whalen

Visit Glynnis' blog to read suggestions for home-based businesses you can start with little money.

Application Steps:
If you are in a place of financial need, take some time to evaluate all the resources you have. List five that could possibly be used to increase your financial health.

Reflections: God often uses our finances to teach us lessons. What have you learned about God as a result of a financially difficult time in your life?

What is one wise money management principle that you should apply to your life now?
Power Verses:
Matthew 25:21, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'" (NIV)

Proverbs 21:5, "The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty." (NIV)

John 21:6, "And He said to them, 'Cast the net on the right-hand side of the boat and you will find a catch.' So they cast, and then they were not able to haul it in because of the great number of fish." (NASB)

© 2009 by Glynnis Whitwer. All rights reserved.

5 Favorite Bible Studies

I am super duper excited to begin a new bible study this fall with a new group of moms called "A Mom after God's own heart" by Elizabeth George. I started the study by myself and then stopped thinking how much I'd rather do it with a group of moms that would share the mom journey with me. So, beginning this Thursday am we moms will begin our new journey of this study.

Are you looking for a Study to do alone or with a group of moms?

My 5 Favorite Bible Studies:

1. What Happens When Women Say Yes To God. by: Lysa TerKeurst
2. A Mom's Ordinary Day Bible Studies ( series by: various authors)
3. Wisdom For Mothers by Denise Glenn
4. A Mom After God's Own Heart by: Elizabeth George
5. He Speaks To Me by: Priscilla Shirer