The “To Don’t” List

By Steph Fink

I am a “To Do” list-making lunatic.  I’m not kidding.  I’ve been known to make lists of the lists that I’ve wanted to write up.  While my list-making “skill set” proved valuable to my family when we moved last year, it has been equally unhelpful in distracting me from the real meaning of Christmas.   If not on guard, I can checklist the holidays like it's a race to "get through" Or, I can intentionally celebrate Christmas as God intended.  So with an honest heart, I drafted an entirely new list, the “To Don’t List”.

* Facebook my friend - call instead!

* Wrap a gift with a rushed-negative heart!

* Eat a Christmas cookie alone, they're always sweeter with a friend! 

* Fret over the Christmas letter, family picture and change of address cards.  This year I made a joint Christmas greeting/change of address postcard.

* Be rude to the people that are in the Christmas postcard picture while addressing them to go out!  

*Allow the person that stole my parking spot (the blinker told you it was mine!) to steal my joy.  No, I'll confuse em'...I'll smile and wave like we're old friends (cause we would be if you’d stop stealing my spot!).

* Buy anything that I don't have enough money to.

* Forget the best present ever!  No, not the Atari, Cabbage Patch Kid, leg warmers or my Kodak disc camera when I was a child. Jesus!  Jesus’ birth, the life that gave me new life, hope and freedom to love the person who stole my parking spot!

This Christmas season, will you draft a new list…a “To Don’t” list, so your “To Do” lists don’t cram out the real reason for the season?

What’s one thing on your “To Don’t List?”

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the
northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing
God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright
Light".


Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

Three Gifts For Christmas - Is that it?

We made the big three gift announcement to our children at the Thanksgiving dinner table.  Each child will get three gifts for Christmas - my oldest son added in  "Just as the wise men brought three gifts to Jesus it was good enough for him it should be good enough for us".

My goal this year is to Commit to Spend less on gifts, Give more Presence, and Love like Jesus teaching my children the true meaning of Christmas.

Today I asked my youngest if he wanted to make his Christmas list he responded with "It's so hard, are we really only getting three gifts?" I used this as a teaching opportunity asking him why we celebrate Christmas, asking him for his ideas of what could we do this year to give more presence and love like Jesus would to others and to our family. We discussed ideas such as delivering treats to our local firemen, collecting food for those who may not have a Christmas meal as he will and taking time for others.  It was fun to see him beginning to get it - That Christmas is not all about the gifts and what we get but about celebrating the best gift that was given to us Jesus.

Looking forward to the days ahead as I continue to find ways to teach my kids the true meaning of Christmas.

Have you seen this You Tube video on the Advent Conspiracy - it just might inspire you to join my family  this Christmas as we Spend less on gifts, Give more Presence, and Love like Jesus

7 Family Traditions - To Keep Christ in the Center of Christmas

Happy Birthday Jesus Party - Host a neighborhood Birthday party celebrating the birth of Jesus with cake and party decor. Tell the Christmas story, play party games and even ask the kids to bring a gift to be donated to a local charity.

Happy Birthday Jesus Cakes - Bake this simple birthday cake for Jesus and share with your family and guest the meaning of each part of the cake. Click here for complete how to bake and explanation of the Happy Birthday Jesus cake.

Nativity with out Baby Jesus - Set up your nativity set minus baby Jesus then on Christmas morning tell the story of the birth of baby Jesus and allow your children to place the baby Jesus into the manger

Advent Scripture Verses - Use daily Scripture verse telling the story of Jesus’ birth – from the angel telling Mary that she would be Jesus’ mom, to the three wise men’s journey with the FREE printable advent cards from Glittermagic. They also included some cute ideas on the 2nd page of what to do with the cards in case you don’t have an Advent Calendar. or you can use them all at once during your Christmas dinner and go around the table reading them. Click here to down load your cards now.

Room For Baby Jesus- Tell or read the Christmas story to your family then share an old Irish tradition of placing a candle or light in your window. It is a symbol of welcome to Joseph and Mary, who, despite their need, were refused shelter in the inn; the light or candle says we offer shelter to them and to their Infant, Jesus. The great Irish novelist Maurice Walsh said the lighted candle was ’a light to guide the blessed virgin home and she in her need’. Click here to read more about this tradition.

Christmas Cookies With A Meaning - Make Meaningful Christmas cookies. I found this idea over at Making It Meaningful.

You will need cookie cutters in the following shapes:*

Christmas Tree

Angel

Star

Heart

Cross

Dove

Church

Candle

You can either make your own sugar cookie dough or purchase it. As you roll it out on a well-floured board you can cut the shapes and, at the same time, share why those particular shapes have been chosen.

Christmas Tree –What goes under the Christmas Tree? Gifts! Jesus is the first, and the

best give anyone could ever receive.

Angel – Angels were sent to proclaim the birth of Jesus to the Shepherds.

Star – The Wise men followed the star and they found Jesus.

Heart –The heart represents love. Do you know that God loves you? In fact, He loved

you so much that He gave you a sacrificial gift. What is a sacrifice? That’s

when you have something that you really love and you give it away,,,just like God gave Jesus to us.

Cross –The cross which was used to bring death, became a symbol of life. The cross

represents Jesus. He went to the cross to die for our sins and when we believe in Him, He forgives us our sins, allows us to have a relationship with Him, and gives us eternal life.

Dove – This represents the Holy Spirit. The Spirit comes to live in us when we believe in

Him and gives us the power to live for Jesus.

Church – This is where we go to worship God, learn more about Him, and fellowship

with other believers.

Candle – The candle represents light. Jesus is the light of the world and we are to let our

light shine so that others can know Him.

When you are finished, and after you eat some, of course, you can frost and decorate them to give as gifts.
Place the cookies in a cellophane bag and tie with a ribbon then attach a tag to the cookies that explains the meaning of each shape that shares Christmas: The Christmas Tree-green; the angel-white; the star-yellow; the heart – red; the cross-white with red stripes; the dove-white; the church; white; the candle yellow with a red ‘flame’.

** These can be given to lots of people as little ‘thank you’ gifts. I share them with my postal carrier, the tellers at the bank, as well as my friends and neighbors. Enjoy!

Family Movie Night- Host a family movie night and watch a movie the shares the true meaning of Christmas such as :

The Nativity StoryThe Little Drummer BoyNester, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

Veggie Tales - The Toy that saved Christmas

Apple Jacks on the Elliptical

By Steph Fink

Beating the crowing rooster (yeah, like that happens in a Washington, D.C suburbia, but you catch my drift…it was early!), this 30-something was warming up her drowsy body as my then five year old, Jake, sleepily wandered in and plopped his groggy body on the guest room bed.

His inquisitive eyes were inspecting the spectacle in front of him. As I warmed my legs up in the routine hamster on the wheel circular motion, I twisted my center core to stretch my arms and stomach muscles.  With utter amazement, Jake spouted out, “How’d you do that Momma? Can you do apple jacks (aka: jumping jacks) on the elliptical too?”

We just covered the whole simultaneous pat your head while rubbing your belly phenomenon the week prior, that’s why my physical contortions appeared impressive and I’ll take the “drops of props” wherever this Jersey girl can get them! I graciously thanked Jake and continued my circular strides.

“No babe, I’m not going to do jumping jacks on the elliptical, it’s just not possible for Mommy to do that safely."  Jake looked a little disappointed but took it in. My mind quickly drifted in the normal stream of consciousness that makes my husbands’ face go “tilt” when I verbalize my endless thoughts to him!

Five years ago, I thought where I am standing today was impossible.  I did not think I could return to my wedding weight.  I reflected to my vast past of “impossible” statements that sounded persuasively believable and weighed them against the truth:

Impossible LIE:  “I’ll never be able to get back to my wedding weight because after my thyroid surgery, I have thyroid problems and my metabolism is screwed up.”

Possible TRUTH:  Not only am I at my wedding weight, I’m working with my (rather dormant) metabolism and my doctor’s monitoring my thyroid levels. 

Impossible LIE:  “It’s impossible to have a regular exercise schedule because my life is just too busy, I’ll just suffer and try to eat less.”

Possible TRUTH: I have time for the things that I deem important.  I didn’t formerly deem exercise important enough to schedule it.  Movement equals exercise.  I take a walk around the block with my kids.  I am exercising while connecting with my kids, hubby, walking partner or God.  I do and will eat less because I am listening to my body and understand the difference between emotional and physical hunger.

Impossible LIE:  “I’m never going to get to my goal weight, it’s taking soooooooooo long, and so it’s just an unreasonable goal.  I’m just gonna be content with where I’m at.”

Possible TRUTH:  I am content with where I am at and at the same time I know in my spirit I am not where God wants me to be.  I will continue to press on because with God on my side, I will get there.  (P.S. – Seven pounds to go to goal weight!)

I wondered where my disconnect was between the lie and truth? The answer - my faith deficiency in the true source, God.  I had faith in “me” (my strength, my abilities) and that is why I failed and back slid.  When I have faith in God to do a work in me, I have experienced sweet, slow and deliberate success.  The center has to be God!

I am encouraged to read in Matthew 17:20-21, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (New International Version)

The bottom line is that I didn’t believe God could move this formerly obese “mountain”.  He has changed me.  You know what - He can, He did and He will continue to do so because He who is faithful to do a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.  It’s all about Him, not me!

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Ephesians 3:20-21 (Message)

My doing an “apple jack” on the elliptical does seems impossible.  If the Lord wants me to do it, I have faith I will (I promise I’ll let ya know!)  Retuning to my wedding weight seemed impossible.  I’m sure there were some people that thought parting a large Red Sea down the middle seemed pretty impossible too!

What’s an “impossible” that you’re face with right now?  Can you find the “possible” statement to match it?

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the
northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing
God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright
Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

The MBN Syndrome

By Steph Fink

I've been infected with a rather contagious syndrome.  I wonder if you've ever been contaminated with it?

I saw a skinny woman "house" a huge plate of food and thought, “MUST BE NICE” as this caged tiger continues to count her Weight Watchers' points.

I saw the cleaning crew outside my neighbor's home and thought, “MUST BE NICE" as I just finished using my Pampered Chef scraper to "clean" the top shelf of my fridge.

I heard a friend say, "Oh, my parents took the kids to give me a break" and thought, “MUST BE NICE” as I remember there are so many layers to grief and how much I miss my mom not being here on earth.

I heard a friend tell me, "Oh, my husband's going away for eleven days next month" and I thought, "MUST BE NICE" as I was smack dab in the middle of my husband’s three month trip in Europe.

The "MBN" syndrome is a pretty potent disorder...it's rooted in self-centered and distorted thinking. 

Have you ever thought those three words, “Must be nice!”?

Romans 12:2 talks about the "renewing of your mind" and not conforming to the normal patterns of this world.

The best way I know how to renew my mind is to say, "Thank you".  Some days I have to dig a little deeper to find the "thank you" in the moment.  That particular day was no exception.

I saw this saying on my friend’s Facebook page, “What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?”

That one gave me a little jolt back into reality!

Thank you, Lord, that I have enough food in my pantry that I can count points. (So what if I twitched saying and typing it?!)

Thank you, Lord, that I have a beautiful home to clean.

Thank you, Lord, that I have amazing friends and babysitters to help when I need a break.

Thank you, Lord, that I have an amazing hubby. 

Thank you that I have a hubby that helps and I desire to be with. (Because there was a time...)

Where have you been most vulnerable to see the MBN Syndrome pop up?  As Thanksgiving approaches, what are you thankful for today?

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

The Dance of Faith

By Steph Fink

My son boogied into the kitchen and joined me, as I was smack dab in the middle of both cooking dinner and shakin’ my groove thing to Toby Mac. It was a moment where my inner Solid Gold dancer met his inner rock star and it was pure awesomeness!

We’ve danced in the kitchen like this before but this particular jam session turned “unique” when my son air spanked his own bottom while shaking his moneymaker.  (For the record, he was not mirroring my moves, okay?)

Equally entertained and concerned, I inquired, “Where’d ya learn that move honey?”

Without missing a beat, “Playing Wii Just Dance with you, Momma!”

Wide eyed I replied, “What was that honey? You learned that in public school?”

How desperately I want to blame someone, something, some institution more than myself when “unique” situations arise.  Like when my other son used the word “crap” in a contextually correct sentence.

That was not public school’s fault then either. 

Clearly, I’m not perfect; but somehow I think that “secret” has been out for some time now. 

One evening, after a particularly traumatic homework session with my kids, I beat myself up for all the things that I’m not…patient, polite, or intelligent (forget fifth grade, I’m not smarter than a third grader!).  I was feeling like I was not making the grade as a mother.

Have you ever been there?

As I sat in my favorite overstuffed sand colored chair the following morning, I watched my boys come down to the kitchen and start making their own breakfast and do the school routine.  They didn’t come over to me because they knew what I was doing.  I was in a private meeting.  It was in this private meeting with God that I recognized that while I’m not doing everything right, I’m also not doing everything wrong, either. 

While I’m the first to submit I am concerned my kids will need counseling once grown…I’ve gotten to the point, that I’m not entirely ruining them either.

Every morning my kids see their Mom sit in the same chair with her Bible, journal and at times, with her eyes closed.  They know not to interrupt because they know what their Mom is doing, spending time with God.  They know their Solid-Gold-dancing Momma is dedicated to spending time with God and growing spiritually.  They also know Mom is a lot nicer after spending time with God (which is most likely why they no longer interrupt Mom’s time with God!).

Jim George wrote in 10 Minutes to Knowing the Men and Women of the Bible that, "God's teachings are sometimes better caught than taught." I can tell my kids to read the Bible until I’m blue in the face, but not until they see me do it will they know for certain that there’s merit to that idea. 

How about for just a moment, you and I stop beating ourselves up for all that we’re not and celebrate one thing that we are. 

I’ll go first.  I’m not perfect, but I am faithful.  (Phew, that sure felt good to write!)

The dance of faith has a lot of different moves and steps. Reading the Bible and silent moments alone with God will help my kids dance through the (ahem) “crap” life brings with faith.    

Don’t tell me what you’re not, tell me what you are!  What is one thing that you are proud of that you’re teaching your kids?

(And, if the mood is right, do a little air spank to celebrate what you are, just cause!) J

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In
her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the
northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing
God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright
Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

Too Bent or Two Bent?

By Steph Fink

By all recognizable measures, the holidays are here.  I love wandering through the stores all decked out in pumpkins, turkeys and Christmas trees…while I’m still wearing my flip flops!  While all the retail stores seem ahead of schedule, a lot of the time, I feel behind; not just during the holidays, but in my daily life.

All throughout the year, I love having friends over.  But there’s one little catch.  I’m not all that great of a cook.  I’m a good organizer, but not a great cook. Never once have I had a friend enter into our home saying, “I can’t wait to dig into your soufflé a-la-something.”  There’s no soufflé, it’s just us. While I do serve food, it will most likely be a basic meal, perhaps a COSTCO purchase.  Sure, I want to make a nice meal and provide a relatively clean home.   But I care more about the laughs, the relationships, the connecting and the memories.


One small gesture that I like to do, when I entertain, is put out fun, festive and other-than-white-napkins.   It's not much, just one small gesture, which shows a small amount of honor to our guests. I no longer want to get "too bent" over elaborate preparations but spend more time having fun with our guests.  While I still struggle with my culinary expertise deficiency, God continues to deal with me about how I get "too bent" about life sometimes.


On one particular day, I felt drawn to kneel before God to pray.  Kneeling, like the napkin, is just one small gesture...that shows honor.  In Luke 10:38-42 you find Mary who sat and welcomed Jesus as she entertained.  In contrast, her sister Martha fretted over the details, more than her guest. 
I don't want to get too bent, but live a life on two bent knees...that's the Mary vs. Martha difference in a nutshell.  I decided I'm going to pursue to be more like Mary, than Martha, and, I'm not talking about Martha Stewart!  The “main course” is fellowship.

This holiday season, will join me as I pursue letting go of being "too bent" and get down on "two bent" as a small gesture, to invite the right Guest before your guests arrive?

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the
northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing
God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright
Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

To Celebrate or Not To Celebrate Halloween?

Image courtesy of halloweenclipart.com

Today I stumbled across this article over at Christianity Today - "Why Christians should embrace the devilish holiday with gusto—and laughter." written by Anderson M. Rearick III.  

 

I grew up celebrating this big candy fest and enjoyed the many years of dressing up only to continue this same tradition with my own children, but always wondering in the back of my head should I or should I not be participating in a celebration that is often considered the Devils holiday - Today I can only say I'm ready to enjoy this years Halloween celebrations with complete laughter and joy.  If you want to know why - Click here to read this article and you too will be filled with laughter.

Need/Want Homework?

By Steph Fink

Homework - Never been a big fan.

I knew I needed to do it, but never once wanted to do it.

I wasn’t a big fan when I was going through school.

And I’m still not a fan as I’m helping my kids.

But like laundry and dust busting endless gold fish crumbs
and explaining why you need to close the bathroom door when we have company…I just do it.

I once, okay twice, had to Google my second graders
homework. That is one sad state of affairs I’ll tell you.   What, like you remember congruent,
similar and angles?

Well, this particular evening I was helping my kindergartner
with his homework.  His assignment
was to draw and write about two things you want and two things you needs then
write what the difference is between wants and needs?

All I know is that this assignment should prove entertaining
cause his vision of life is skewed at best and I’d like to live in the bubble
that my guy lives in.

Wants – piece o’ cake:  Candy and Mightyt Beans (they’re like a more hip Weeble
Wobble).

Needs – Jesus and food.

NEED IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WANT.

Wow, he said Jesus first!  The food he drew was a broccoli stalk and God.  When writing time came he wrote God
(two less letters makes a different in a kindergartners day ya know).   God was puffy, genderless very smiley person with no hair or
ears…

And while I was feeling rather less than as a mother, like
I’ve not been getting the grade.
Impatient, periodically irrational, certainly invisible  I’d been on him or rather him on me…I
felt that God hug me, that I wasn’t doing everything wrong like I had convinced
myself earlier in the day.  No, in
that moment I felt like everything I wasn’t.  Showered (was that too much information?), and showered in
God’s love and approval.

That was one homework assignment that I didn’t need to
Google but I did get a little giggle.
At just the right moment, God knows when I need a little pick me up.

I need God but want to be perfect.

I want and need Jesus love…acceptance cause I want to get
the grade.

This precious child of mine has an incredible power to wear
me down persuade those around that his want is really, really a need.  At times it gets to a point where
you’ll be certain that he does need said it.

I want to honor God so I need to stop trying to think I’m
going to parent perfect and then beat myself up each and every time I realize
it’s mission impossible.

Do you beat yourself up for not being a perfect parent,
too?  Where and when are you most
vulnerable to do so?  


Steph's
writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In
her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the
northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing
God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright
Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

The Tower of Girl Power

By Steph Fink

A few months ago, I received a phone call.

Not just any phone call.

A call from my doctor.

“We just received your lab work back and we’d like to schedule you an earlier complimentary appointment.” 

An earlier “complimentary” appointment??? I’ve been with this doc for two years now and even when my thyroid and vitamin D levels have been low they waited until my next appointment.   Am I dying???

I feel it only fair to tell you that I have a flair for the dramatics…it’s part of my charm, okay, neurosis.

Back to the call…

“Our earliest available appointment is next Monday at 5:30 pm…is that good for you?”

The obvious question just had to be asked, “Am I okay? Is everything alright?” 

“The doctor hasn’t even seen your blood work results yet, we’d just like to set you up with a complimentary appointment.”

Why does she keep saying complimentary appointment?

I had a gut wrenching feeling that this complimentary appointment had nothing to do with complimenting me, on how they liked my new caramel highlights which now framed my face.  So I hung up the phone and prayed a rather freakish prayer.  “God, am I dying?”

(I already warned you.)

Silence.

So I called my husband.  When he hears a weird calm in my voice, he freaks, “Humm…let me pray, babe.”

In between my freakish prayer and gold medal performance on the spazznastics mat, I promised God that I would not do life alone. 

I needed to make this promise because I have a horrible habit of acting like everything depends on me and that I’m a burden to God and my friends.  I don’t like bugging people but I do love to be “bugged” or help my friends.

So I got out of my comfort zone and shared this appointment with some friends.

My running partner, Jess, said, “I’ll take the boys and feed them dinner.”

I told her that I didn’t even think that far ahead and that I’d let her know.  I was putting her off because I didn’t want to put her out.  I later emailed her back and said, “Yes, thanks a bunch and I’ll drop dinner off with the boys.”

Tough girl emailed back, “No, you may not bring dinner over.”

Well…

My friend Laura said that she’d love to go to the appointment with me.  I thanked her and said I’d let her know shortly.  WHY do I keep putting my friends off?  I emailed and accepted her generous offer.   

My friend Nancy prayed with me.  On my appointment day she even left a prayer on my cell phone. 

Later that day, I prayed yet another freakish prayer, “Lord, why am I doing okay right now?”

I was doing more than okay because I had a tower of girl power surrounding me.

This time around, I didn’t try to do life alone.  This time, I didn’t isolate myself.  This time I let my girlfriends in.

My girlfriends knew what I needed before I even stepped off the spazznastics mat. 

Phew.

God’s love, comfort, protection and provision were evident in my amazing girlfriends.  I would have missed all of God’s love if I kept isolated.  Minus being a lunatic and such, I am okay.  Thank you God for the tower of girl power, that kept me standing strong!

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:12 (New International Version)

Do you have a tower of girl power to support you?  Are you part of a tower to give your girlfriends needed power?


Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

Letting Go With a Bike Lesson

"Its just like riding a bike with training wheels only you don't get stuck in ditches" was the advice little brother Nate gave to his big brother Caleb the day we decided it was time for Caleb to learn to ride a two wheel bike. Yes, Nate was already a confident two wheel rider.

Caleb had never had any desire to ride a bike, he was happy to continue to ride in the bike cart on family bike rides being pulled along as he enjoyed the ride munching on his snacks and observing the scenery.

However, the Novotny mom and dad had decided it was time for Caleb to face the 2 wheel bike with or without tears we were determined to see Caleb ride a bike. It was one of those Parents know best moments.

I had heard my front door open and shut one to many times as Caleb arrived back in to our home because the neighborhood  children had gone from playing a game of tag to  riding bikes and scooters and after about 15 minutes  he was tired out from running after them as they rode down the street. Still with no motivation to learn to ride a bike.

So, it was time. Caleb resisted a few whines and tears but once out the door with dad and feeling secure that dad was not going to let him fall and get hurt Caleb was eager to try. After a few days of practice with dad hanging on, it was time for the big let GO and watch him GO. Another letting go experience in raising our kids.

He wobbled, he swerved and put his feet down to save a fall and then tried again and again and again until finally he was riding a two wheel bike all on his own.

The following few weeks Caleb enjoyed the freedom of bike riding up and down the street practicing his starts, turns and stops he rode along with the  biggest smile of accomplishment on his face.

Looking back had we as his parents given in to the whines to the tears to our own doubts of letting go and letting Caleb attempt to ride solo he would have not accomplished this milestone in his life  - we very well could have allowed the fear of failure, the doubt of abilities and the lack of confidence overtake us only to keep Caleb from attempting something he had only dreamed of doing, only wondered if he could really do it when in reality we let go and he rode away.


Have you ever had a dream? ever wanted to accomplish something big? ever desired to attempt something only to allow fear to keep you from accomplishing it?

I am guessing we could all write out a list or tell a story of the many things we have wanted to to do, accomplish or try if we knew we would not fail.

Just as  our son Caleb  climbed onto his bike full of fear of failure let me challenge you today to step out and attempt something new, something you have dreamt about.  What's holding you back? Let go and ride off into a new adventure discovering you can do it if you Let go of your fears.

It is time to take a chance, step out, dream big, let go and ride away fearless- What will you attempt this week?   sign-up for a class, invite a new friend to coffee, write an article to be submitted to a blog, start a craft project, launch that business idea,  join a gym ?   Share your stepping out and letting go stories with us.

Breathe MOM Breathe

Do you ever feel this way? You need to stop and take a HUGE and I mean HUGE breath as a mom.

I do and TODAY is one of those TAKE a huge breath days - I keep thinking isn't this mommy journey supposed to get easier the older they get?

The older my 5 kids have become it only seems to have created a longer to do list, a messier house, deeper guilt, an emotional roller coaster of worry, fear, more worry and more fear of am I doing it right, are they gonna survive me or am I going to survive them?

The other day I told one of my  girlfriends that I was going to write a book called Out of the crib - into the real world of parenting (mommyhood).

This book would reveal to real moms like myself that the words we had heard and  counted on "it gets easier the older they get" was just a HOAX.  I'm thinking that these words were told to us so that we did not act upon our threats of running away, dropping our children off and never returning to pick them up, or calling the police and explaining how these children were left on your door step and you have no idea who they are but they keep calling you MOM - in hope that they will come take them away.

My Out of the crib - into the real world of parenting (mommyhood) book would reveal to us moms the truth about this mothering beyond the pre-school days when we were still in control. Today their lives seem to control my to do list, my schedule, my thinking time, my free time, my emotions, my clean now messie house, my meal planning, even what I read (raising kid books). Who is in control now?

Don't get me wrong I love being a mom or I wouldn't have chosen the mom career path. I just think it is time to be real and let the truth be known - That each and every season of raising our children has its own set of challenges and blessings.

Sure there may be easy days and even days we feel back in control. But I promise you will have days you think this is NOT easier then when they were little pre-schoolers.

Yes,  I get to sleep all night - if my teenagers have all arrived home safely that is, Yes, I no longer have to carry a diaper bag I now get to carry backpacks, swim bags and football equipment bags and make sure they are fully packed with enough items to last a week not just an outing to the mall. Yes,  I no longer have to be the milk wagon to a starving baby I get to pack lunches, bring snack to hungry athletes,  plan dinner around various kids schedules. Yes,  I no longer have to push a stroller around town I now have teenagers driving me around town while I  hold my breath. Yes,  I have more time in my day without kids at home but I now get phone calls and emails  from multiple schools and organizations asking for help, kids needing forgotten items, and the list goes on and on.

Seriously I'm not whining here about my career or life I just think someone should tell the truth about those words "it gets easier the older they get" - those words need to be changed to " Each and every season of raising our children has its own set of challenges and blessings".   Then our expectations of the easier life won't be a let down instead we will be armed and ready for the next set of challenges.

So, moms take a huge breath, put on your seat belt and get ready for the the most amazing roller coaster you will ever ride Mommyhood  -  you will laugh, scream and even loose your stomach once in a while - just Breathe and enjoy the ride there truly are great blessing today and everyday being a mom.

What challenges have you faced as a mom that you were not expecting? 

What blessings have you had being a mom?

A Runner’s Renaissance, Again

By Steph Fink

Finally.  Finally, I figured out how to be satisfied as a stay-at-home mother or SAHM for those who know the lingo.  This was no small feat for this strong Type A woman who just l-o-v-e-d the atta-girls of public recognition.  I loved running fast after a goal and obtaining it.  Oh how my flesh leapt for joy with public praise or an award of any type.  While there’s nothing wrong with worldly success, my self-worth was all tied up in my worldly titles and another thing…those crazy women in their minivans…they drove me crazy too.  I’d never be like one of them. Humph.  

Then I became a mother.

Then I became a mother who drove a minivan.

I was so grateful for my two sons’ lives but I must admit that I struggled with my identity and self-worth.  

My children’s births made gave me new life, a rebirth, a personal renaissance if you will.

Running after their every need, I slowly learned how to recalibrate “success”.  Success was no longer how many cases I closed, but how many diapers I closed…only to reopen and replace, again.

Sure, I still had difficult days but overall, I was finally content.  

When balance arrived, something happened. God spoke.  Not in audible words but this idea kept repeating itself.  Write to encourage women.  

Um, I don’t know if you know this God, I’m a Criminal Justice major who hated English class.  

He was aware.

I had just become content and now I’m supposed to go through another rebirth?  And in a career field I had absolutely no past experience in? Yup.

So, I got busy writing.  I attended a writer’s conference and wrote some more.  I wrote some more, then took one of the scariest steps of all; I submitted my work to editors.  I kept receiving rejection notices.  Just like becoming a new mother, I floundered with my new identity and was frustrated.

Type A people like getting things checked off their checklist and my goal to “get published” seemed nothing short of a fleeting pipe dream.  Feeling rejected is bad enough, but when you get an email or letter stating REJECTION…it’s a kick in the gut to a Type A lunatic.  

Defeated and on the verge of, “I’m quitting” came this idea.  Use my strength for strength and my weakness for strength.  

I changed my goal from “get published” to “obtain 40 rejection letters.” I proudly stated my revised goal to my writers group.  They all supported me because it was realistic.  It was a long distance runner type approach as opposed to my former sprint approach of “get published”.

And heck, I was already well on track to obtaining my new goal! 

So as I settled into my new pace, a slower, more realistic pace, the most unfamiliar thing occurred…an editor wrote “YES!”  

The two responses that followed my first precious “YES!” were “MAYBE!”   A maybe in the writing world is just like getting your child to at least sit on the toilet when potty training.  May be a “yes” or may be a “no” but either way it’s progress!  

I had to pace myself.  Pace so I don’t about face and quit.

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:1b-2a (New International Version)

Have you ever struggled with your identity being a mother?  Have you gone through a personal renaissance?  What was it like?


Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

A Blessing Party For Back To School

It has become a tradition - Thanks to Valerie our official celebration editor here at 24/7 MOMS. At the end of each Summer Valerie hosts a Back To School Blessing party for the moms in our mom group and their children.

Prior to the party Valerie asks each mom to decide on a scripture verse for each of her children as their yearly verse that will be framed for each child to then be able to place on their dressers, bathroom counters or desks to remind them of the verse their mom selected and is praying over for them as they go off to school each day.

During the party we eat appetizers and have fun chatting then we gather all the kids around a cake  that has one candle in it for the blessing celebration - teach child steps up to the cake and is asked how they would like us to pray for them  for the upcoming school year, we then light the candle let each child blow it out on their turn, pray and bless them and present them with their framed scripture verse for the year.

What a great way to kick off the school year to pray for our kids, give them their own scripture verse to remind them of God's love and how special they are to him.

This is a simple celebration with each mom bringing an appetizer to share and then serve cake after the blessing celebration.

The Cost of Character

By: Stephanie Fink

My two sons and I screeched to a halt and investigated the treasures at Target.  At this particular aisle we found an oasis of clearanced candles. I’m a candle lover with keen olfactory senses, so inexpensive, delicious smelling candles are a cheap thrill! I lifted the sensibly priced luminary hopefuls to my nose.   > Hummm…smells nice, but not a keeper.

Or so I thought.

Approximately 2.032 seconds after I returned the votive candle pack, I heard glass crash.   What was that?  A quick analysis revealed that in one sweeping turn, my big-honkin’-momma-purse knocked them off the shelf and into numerous shards below.  

I shooed my boys away from the jagged circle of destruction and rationalized…Well, they’re on clearance, Target won’t miss em’…this is just an accident, surely they won’t make me pay for them…who puts glass candles on corner aisle shelves…did anyone see this?

My boys stood statue still; their eyes the size of pizza pies.  As I knelt down to pick up the sharp pieces I felt more than just the power of their eyes upon me.  This was not the moment to just get through.  This was the moment to make it count.  One of those don’t-want-it-to-be-but-it- is-what-it-is learning moments.  

How completely inconvenient.

I picked up the remains of my pride and candles and placed them gingerly into my red plastic picnic basket.  Instantaneously, my six year old questioned, “Why are you putting them in your basket Mommy? They’re broken.”

“I know, honey, but it was just an accident.  And accidents happen all the time.” Isn’t that what I tell them when the inevitable milk spill occurs at every meal?

As we trudged toward the checkout lane, I was irritated at having to spend money on something I knew I’d just be throwing out.  I hoped the cashier would somehow get me off the hook with some version of, “Oh don’t worry about this honey, you don’t have to pay for these.” 

But that’s not what happened. 

No, my middle aged cashier gave me something much more valuable than cheap words for cheap candles, “Wow, boys, you have a very honest Mommy.” As the red scanner glowed to register my new candles, my heart illuminated too. 

I could have cried right there.

I want to raise little boys that will grow to be men of character.  When their life appears to be cracked and in pieces, I want them to do the next right thing; to build a life of good choices brick, by brick.  I realized then, that the “character bricks” are cemented when they observe good (or bad) examples.

Former Oklahoma US representative J.C. Watts said it best, “Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught.”

I’m grateful now that I made that moment “count”.  There have been far too many that I fast-forwarded through because I’d rather compete in another round of spazz-nastics than the character balance beam.  Character always costs something.  Sometimes it costs energy, time and even money. But that day, true to Target’s motto, I “expected more and paid less.” Our character lesson was just a tad over $3.   

Later that year, our then first grade son was peer-voted the first “Star Student” of his class.  The criteria was based on character, character that I believe was strengthened by glass shards that once surrounded average smelling candles.

Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright Light".

Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.

Know Your Numbers

By: Stephanie Fink

I love being a mom…usually.  (How’s that for honesty?)

Watching my kids grow up is fun and frustrating.  Exciting and excruciating.  Awesome and awful.  Sacred and scary.  
The first day of each new school year brings the familiar, “Ya gotta know your bus number.  Don’t forget it.  That’s how you’ll get back home, okay?”  I showed them the billboard they had to wear around their neck that said their name and bus number.  They nodded as if they were listening to me.  They made it home.

In a cruel twist of fate, days after my husband and I serenaded our boys with, “8-6-7-5-3-0-9” from the 1982 hit song Jenny, we determined it was time they learn their home phone number.  I’ll let you take one guess as to what they said their home phone number was.

You guessed correctly,“8-6-7-5-3-0-9”. 
This charming phase lasted for oh, only about six months. 

I love being a mom, usually,

I stepped up on my soap box and declared, “Kids, this is serious.  Ya gotta know your numbers.  It’s not funny.  What if you get lost?  Ya gotta know your number!”

With a prayer and the help of the Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star ditty, my kids now know their home phone number.

I love being a mom, usually.

It only took, what felt like, forever for them to learn their address.  But they did.  Then we moved.  And, we’re still in process. 

I love being a mom, usually.

“Know your numbers” has been an important theme pressed into my children.  Two summers ago, I knew they needed some new numbers.  These new numbers would also help them, when they needed help finding their way.  The new numbers were Bible verses. 

That summer we (and I do mean we) memorized eight scriptures.  We started with the most important one, John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  We moved onto other ones like, “A friend loves at all times.” Proverbs 17:17

This past year, I’ve also started to show them how, to not just know the numbers, but how to look them up in the Bible.

Lysa TerKeurst wrote, “My goal should never be to raise kids that make me look good.  My goal should be to raise kids who love God and spend their lives making His goodness known in their corner of the world.”

In order to know God and make God known, my kids are going to need to know their numbers.  They’re going to need to know what numbers to call up when they’re scared or happy or lonely or sick or trying to deal with their parents.  I want my kids to be physically safe.  So I taught them their home phone, the garage door key code and in time, they’ll know their home address again.  I also want my kids to be spiritually safe too.  And they’ll need to “know their numbers”. 

Have I mentioned lately that I love being a mom? 

What numbers do you want to teach your kids this summer?


Steph's writing has appeared in Proverbs 31 Ministry, P31 Woman magazine.  In her free time she can be found encouraging numerous MOPS group in the northern Virginia area on the "Colorful Art of Friendship - Allowing God to Paint the Masterpieces" and MOPS leaders on "Being a Bright Light".
Steph can be found blogging at www.encouragedinheart.org or on Facebook at Stephanie Fink or on her Facebook page Encouraged in Heart - Stephanie Fink.  She loves big hair, big cups of coffee and big bear hugs.