One Tough Mother Book Chat

One Tough Mother, did you grab your cup of coffeeor ice cold beverage? Are you ready to chat about Chapter 5: “Analyze This” – Nonnegotiable #3, Stop Tinkering with the Inane?

How often have you wished you had a magic wand that Julie writes about? To accomplish things such as the two areas Julie mentions?

1. Rid the world of certain unsightly fleshly appearances
2. Get moms to see the big picture in mothering

The first one made me laugh as I visualized Julie flying through the local mall waving her wand and suddenlythose wearing these unsightly clothes found themselves now wearing completely different outfits. Can you imagine the looks on the faces of these teens/moms? I hope you, too, were able to imagine Julie's wand waving.

Then there is number two - Get moms to see the big picture in mothering. I had to stop and ask myself' "Am I one of the mothers she is referring to that has lost my maternal confidence, authority and brains to those she refers to as 'The Others'?"

The Others are just about anyone else: my mother, friends, sisters, book authors, seminar speakers and the list continues. Have I become a Mom tinkering with the inane, as Julie writes?

I looked up the word "inane" and here is what I discovered.

The word inane in the Webster dictionary means :
1: empty, insubstantial2: lacking significance, meaning, or point : silly

After a little soul searching and looking back over my so far accomplished mom journey, I think it is safe to say my typical parenting pattern was to rely on my own God-given parenting instinct and authority. UNTIL a problem or situation arose that I had no idea what to do with. O.K., so maybe there were times that was a daily occurrence. Overall I have been the type to only read, research, or get advice when I felt ill-equipped or at a complete lose for answers. Or, my ability to respond to the situation might very well be what puts my kids in full-time counseling the rest of their lives. (Though I often tell my children I torment them with my Mom decisions as I want to be sure to give them good stories to tell those future counselors).

What about you? Do you rely on yourself or The Others when making parenting decisions?

So often you hear Moms discussing topics such as how old should children be to potty train, when to take the pacifier away, or when to move from the crib to the big bed. Or, we Moms of older children might ask questions such as: When should my 16 year old's curfew be? Should my children be allowed to have a MySpace? And the list go on.

Now that I have journeyed through some of the above questions, I will tell you that none of my 5 children will be going to college with their pacifiers (I had one hang on to the pacifier until 4 and another suck their thumb until 10). They are all fully potty trained and they were NOT two when this was accomplished. They all sleep in big beds (Nate-no was 5 and still in his crib). They don’t roam the streets of Gig Harbor until wee hours of the night. And, the three oldest have My Spaces and Face Books, but so do I.

Relax Mom, be confident that you are doing a GREAT job as Mom. Yes, we will have days feeling overwhelmed and incapable of doing this Mom-thing, but overall God gave you these precious amazing children to raise, and He trusts you with them, so trust yourself.

Stop allowing the words, judgments and decisions of others to decide the parenting course you will take.

Now, don’t take me wrong. I do believe in supporting others, sharing what we have learned along the journey. But like Julie writes in her book, we need to stop over-analyzing every decision we make in the mom journey and stand firm in our own convictions as a mom and move forward.

In what areas have you, as a Mom, felt ill-equipped?

Where do you get your Mom advice?

When was the last time you relied on your own parenting decision?

Well, One tough Mothers, I hope you felt Julie's wand wave over you and will walk away from today’s book chat feeling confident in yourself and your God-given ability to be the One Tough Mother.

Chat with you next week on Chapter 6!