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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

One Tough Mother Book Chat - Week 3 -Chapter 4


Welcome back One Tough Mother, are you ready to chat about chapter 4 with me?

Do you have your cup of coffee or other beverage of choice? Then sit down and let’s begin our chat today as we continue this journey together of becoming One Tough Mothers.

Chapter 4 – Non-negotiable #2 Delight in your perfectly ORDINARY child.

Did Julie just tell us ORDINARY not extraordinary? What about all those books I have read and speakers I have listened to telling me over and over again the importance of raising Extraordinary, Courageous, Successful, children? Do I toss out all I have learned and now strive just for the ordinary kid?

Ready for my personal thoughts? I have finally been let off the hook of the stress of trying to raise the EXTRAORDIANRY kid and the mega pressure of trying to keep up with the competitive, over achieving, comparison playing parent who spends a fair amount of time judging my kid (and your kid) and my parenting ability for not living up to their expectations of the extraordinary child they are trying to raise in their home.

You know what I am talking about those conversations we find ourselves in with other parents comparing our children and parenting with each other from our parenting philosophies to what our children can do, what they have accomplished, what great choices they are making and blah blah blah. Only to then walk away feeling like the failed parent whose child in no way lives up to the other parents amazing extraordinary kids. Yet prior to the conversation we were content with our parenting ability and the so far outcome of our children.

How many of us have started those conversations as well? Leaving behind a parent feeling ill equipped, feeling a sense of failure, feeling less then adequate in their parenting? (This is another topic we could discuss on being a judging mom)

Have you been the obsessed mother Julie talks about with high expectations of raising that EXTRAORDIANRY child? From playing classical music to your pregnant belly, believing the only right way was/is to breast feed, limiting their TV and video time, enrolling them in pre-school prep classes or signing your child up for every activity or lesson to put them above the ordinary kids?

Let’s be honest here I am sure you and I both have pursued and done things that we felt would give our children the opportunity to be the EXTRADORDIANRY child or should I say it a little clearer better then the other kids we might even believe a few of our parenting philosophies are the ONLY way.

Please don’t misunderstand me or even Julie, I am not saying it is wrong to do what you feel is best for your child, what you feel they need to become contributing members of our society, what I am saying is STOP and check your motives, check why you are doing the things you are doing with and for your children, are you stressed with the pressure of all you are doing to raise your EXTRAORDINARY child are they stressed with all of your expectations of them? Are they happy children? When they leave home what will they remember? A home of fun, laughter and acceptance of who they are or a home of stress, high expectations and lack of accepting who they really are?

Now you might be asking BUT how do I put my parenting in reverse and stop the extraordinary madness in my child rearing?

Julie proposes in her book this to us “Let’s stand up as One Tough Mother and refocus our time, energy and dreams on raising and discovering the wonderfully ordinary children living in our homes”. She goes on to share with us that the best way to begin this process is to start asking ourselves , our spouses and our children some simple and ordinary questions ( various questions can be found on pages 66-67) so that we can get to know our selves and those we love a little deeper. By doing this we will begin to see the amazing qualities in each person (including ourselves).

And as Julies says “Soon we will discover that ordinary isn’t boring, meaningless or unworthy”.

What ordinary quality have you discovered about yourself, your spouse or your children?

What are you doing to STOP the extraordinary madness in your child rearing?

Do you feel like me that we are off the hook on raising EXTRAORDINARY kids? And you can now focus on raising the ordinary kid?

What are your thoughts on raising ordinary vs. extraordinary kids?
Chat with you next Wednesday for more of One Tough Mother

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1 Comments:

Blogger momisbestjob said...

I LOVE the idea of going back to the basics and letting kids be kids. I like the idea of raising good, solid, healthy, ordinary kids! Thanks Julie for taking off the pressure!

July 24, 2008 at 9:10 PM  

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