Great Kids - Show up and Shush Up
I would say "Show up and Shut Up" but then I would have to hear my kids say "Mom, we don't use that word." So, Instead let me begin by telling you to Show up and Shush up when it comes to raising great kids.
Two key ingredients to raising GREAT KIDS is being there and listening.
Show Up - Be there - One of my favorite quotes from Jesse Jackson is
"Your children need your presence more than your presents."
While traveling the mom journey I have learned over and over again the importance of my being there. Whether it is a class party, dance competition , baseball game or there when they arrive home. My kids want and need me to show up in their lives.
When we show up we are saying to our kids that they are the priority and are valuable to us.
Studies have shown that our showing up and being available in our Children's lives is key to their success and positive self esteem especially during their teen years.
Mommy, mommy watch me, listen to me. How many times as a mom have we already heard our children plea for us to be their spectator? Plea for 100% of our attention?
Children thrive on us being their number one fan, cheering them on as they take those first steps, color that first picture, make that first goal or dazzle the crowd with their performance. It does not matter if they are 1 or 16, they want us to be their spectator. They want us to show up.
Taking the time to watch one more incredible stunt, hear one more song, read one more story, sit through one more baseball game or waiting at the bus stop when they arrive home from school is what showing up in our Children's lives is about. It is the small showing up that makes the difference the day to day showing up is what they will remember. The time we take off from work to be there , the time we changed our plans to show up for them.
Our children feel loved, secure and affirmed when are show up in their lives.
( I realize we can't be at every thing but making the attempt is what matters)
Shush up - Listen - When we show up we must be there as well. What do I mean be there? I mean turn off the cell phone, turn off the iPad, shush up what ever is distracting you from giving your children 100% of You. Our children don't only need our presence they need our full attention.
It is easy to give quick answers and high fives without really listening to them. Believe me they know when they really have our full attention and when they don't.
It is possible as a mom to be there physically yet not hear a word our children are saying to us.
Have you ever been in a conversation with another person when you realize mid way through that the other person is not really with you, they may be standing right in front of you but there mind is preoccupied with something else?
Take the time to stop what you are doing, put aside your to do list, place your attention and focus on your children and listen to them, hear them, really be there with them.
Our lives are busy, our minds can be on overload but we have to take time to shush it up so that we can listen to our kids.
Our children will open up to us, share life with us, engage us when they know we have taken the steps to shush up and listen.
As a mom I want my kids to not only know I am there for them but that I am ready and willing to listen to their daily life. It is not always easy to Show up and Shush up and it doesn't mean I do it perfectly everyday but daily reminding myself to strive for the Show up and Shush up ingredients is key to raising Great Kids.