Bachelor of Arts in Motherhood

Bachelor of Arts in Motherhood

by: Susan Fox

24/7 MOMS Family Life Editor

We often hear it said that being a mother is the most important job in the world. Isn’t it strange that there is no training or course of study offered to women for this most prestigious of jobs? If you were fortunate you learned from a good role model, someone in your life, a mother, grandmother, aunt or friend. Probably no amount of training could really prepare us for this journey that is motherhood. If I were to develop a college degree for women to pursue, its courses would look like this.

Course Catalog

Home

Home Organization for Dummies

Speed Cleaning

Cooking 101, 102, 103

Advanced Meal Planning

Short Order Cooking

Finer Techniques of Laundry Sorting

Advanced Couponing

Management of Insufficient Funds

Daily Repairs without Spousal Assistance

Mental Assistance with Closing Doors to Objectionable Spaces

Health and Wellness

Methods of Rectal Temperature Gauging

Techniques for First Aid and Emergency Room Trips: how to drive to the ER alone with a bleeding/screaming child

Illness Management

Toxic Waste Cleanup

Multi-Tasking Without Mental Breakdown

Immunization Record Keeping Instructions

Non-Threatening Solutions to Picky Eating

School/Education

Early Childhood Education

Communication with Teachers

Preschool Art Appreciation

Basic Math Grades 1-12

Algebra and All Other Math Unintelligible to Parents and Useless for Future Living

Creative Excusive Note Writing

Basic Explanation Techniques of Anatomy and Physiology to Toddlers

Modern Day Living

Taxi Driving

Basics of Toy Assembly

Post-Modern Methods of Parental Texting

Transportable, Edible and Eco Friendly Lunches

Socialization with Other Mothers

Multiple Activity Scheduling

Searching Techniques for Lost Items

Skills for Speaking on the Telephone with Screaming Toddler at Your Ankles

Mastering the Art of Glaring at Strangers in the Grocery Store Who Look at You with the “OMG, Control Your Children Look”

Family Psychology and Relations

Critical Thinking and Argumentation

Interpreting Differential between Illness and Math Tests

Planning of Effective Restrictions

Faking Sympathy for Apathetic Teenagers

Theories of Sibling Personality

Conflict Resolution and Negotiation

Tantrum Intervention

Fundamentals of Debating a Teenager

Guilt Reduction and Rejecting Pleas from the PTA