24/7 MOMS

Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Shot I Want For My Kid

We all dream of our kids getting a Shot at being accepted for who they are in life.

I stumbled across this video for the 2nd time now and once again was brought to tears. Tears because I saw my own child in this video, my own puzzle boy who day in and day out attends school, plays video games, builds legos, rides a bike goes to Cub Scouts just like every other little boy his age except Caleb does most of it alone.

Last week, I was able to go on a field trip with Caleb and his class mates. I love hanging out with my little guy and it gave me the opportunity to observe if Caleb was getting the shot he needs

My observations made me realize the lack of training our schools give to both teachers and students on inclusion integration.

I observed my child having no one to sit with to eat his lunch.

I was given a list of children to chaperon that my child had no idea who they were.

I was given 2 additional children besides my own which meant a group of 3. We all no what happens in a group of 3 especially when one is a puzzle child.

When the field trip organizer asked the children to get in pairs who would be left standing alone? Yes, my little puzzle boy. Which resulted in the class teacher then placing him with two children that we and the resource teacher have asked him to not be placed with

I observed a child playfully hitting my child in the minds of others. But, this mom knows it was not playful it was the classic picking on a child who doesn't understand when someone is being mean to him.

All of these observations have brought a slew of questions to us as a family and our research has begun once again as to the best placement for Caleb to get a shot.

What we dream of is our little boy getting a shot in life just as you see in this video a team that accepts and understands a puzzle boy. Teachers, coaches, classmates and parents who are willing to give him a shot.

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Blogger Unknown said...

Thank you. My oldest son is a puzzle to me and many adults who haven't had to the time to get to know him. Those who have taken some time to know and understand him are a wonderful addition to his and our lives.

January 31, 2010 at 5:26 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I was this puzzle child growing up. So was my brother. Fortunately our father and our teachers encouraged us. Our dad pointed us toward God. Our teachers encouraged us to do our best. Eventually we left the system and went private. When we got to college we succeeded.

I am now choosing to homeschool my own. I don't want them to face what I went through.

January 31, 2010 at 10:32 PM  
Anonymous Eileen said...

THank you for this post and the video feed. I had seen this when it aired on TV and was amazed. BUt with your post on your son's field trip and the other comments you made...it made me just so heartsick...ANd tears are running down my cheeks in the dark of night.

I also have what I never knew to be called a "puzzle child". My beautiful, sweet daughter was said to be shy, quiet...that was just her personality. Then they said it was ADD. Medications didn't help so they said it was misdiagnosed. She fell very behind in school, especially reading (when a teacher made her class read aloud and she just "checked out" after that).

She is so painfully shy...no not shy, SCARED to death of meeting people...of talking to people. She was then said to have Social Anxiety Disorder. BUT she is not anxious at ALL. She just shuts down and smiles or in a cutsey manner, turns her head. And then talks in a whisper without meeting anyone's eyes.

She is now 17, struggles in school, has few friends and NO one that is a "best friend"...what I would call a "sister friend". She has always been the odd one out when picking teams, is the lab partner no one wants, and is the one not invited to parties or a date to the homecoming, even not to be asked to go with a GROUP of friends. (We have had to intervene on this point.)

So many people have DROPPED THE BALL with our daughter. We have begged for help from school, community center, and even doctor/therapy. She is just too NORMAL for this, as she is behind but not completely challenged. She is a beautiful, healthy looking child, so she is overlooked. She is the lost child. Although she is a beautiful child inside and out...she has never had a shot at a normal life. She tries so in vain.

I applaud this post so much. I have 6 kids and although we have had a couple shy girls, this is just not the same. Our 2 younger kids at home are SO animated, have lots of friends and love sports. They have SUCH an easy time getting involved.
I just have to say that we as parents, teacher, community...need to address that EVERY kid deserves a shot...and we all need to give these kids the ball and let them shine!!

I tell my kids EVERY day...you can get good grades, be the cutest, richest person on the planet, grow up to have the most amazing job ever, BUT if you haven't BEEN a good friend, the rest doesn't matter. If they can be a friend to ALL and really try to make another person feel worthy, they are then, and only then, a success.

February 1, 2010 at 12:12 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

I understand your frustration. My younger child was a puzzle child. We tried public school, private school and parochial school without much success. I finally decided to homeschool him and his younger sister when he was in 6th grade and that worked out the best. I found that the people in the homeschool groups we belonged to were far more understanding of differences then the traditional schools. Even though he was homeschooled we were still able to participate in scouts, music, 4-H, etc. I can't say that I ever regretted the decision to homeschool. My son is 24 now and has a job that he likes and a wonderful wife.

February 1, 2010 at 5:41 AM  
Blogger Mama Voss said...

Praying with you. Inclusion can happen and be beautiful. I'm sad that it is not happening for your son. Be his advocate--

February 1, 2010 at 6:29 AM  
Anonymous SueBE said...

Thank you for advocating for your own puzzle child. Keep trying! You will children out there who know how to interact with puzzle children and schools that know how to deal with it too. But please be sure to give yourself some TLC because it does take so much of your energy.

February 1, 2010 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

I pray he does get his shot...and that parents can learn and teach their children about acceptance and inclusion because, after all, isn't that what everyone craves?

February 10, 2010 at 2:23 PM  

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