24/7 MOMS

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

When Back-to-School Jitters Turn Serious—Take Action


Guest post by Diane Peters Mayer.
Kids have been back in school for weeks. Most have adjusted to new teachers, class work and classmates. But many children aren’t adapting and may be developing school anxiety, which can thwart academic and social development. If your child is already struggling in school it is important to take action quickly to ease the anxiety, and to help him or her thrive in school.
School Anxiety
School anxiety can hit at any age and in any grade. Reasons for school anxiety are varied and include: fears of separating from home and parents, social anxiety, bullying, learning problems, having an anxiety disorder such as panic disorder, and family problems such as divorce.
Here’s what to look for:
  1. Your child begs to stay home on most school mornings
  2. Complaints of stomachaches and headaches are frequent
  3. Changes in mood are common such as irritability, anger, sadness, apprehension
  4. Balks at doing homework or studying; does not participate in class
  5. Withdraws socially; may have difficultly relating to classmates/teacher
  6. Appetite and sleep problems, difficulty concentrating.
Taking Action
It is upsetting to watch your child suffer, and it may leave you feeling worried, helpless, frustrated, and angry. The steps to helping your anxious child include:
  1. Stay calm—no matter what is happening you must remain calm. Your child is feeling scared and out of control and needs you to take control of the situation to be a “rock.”
  2. Communicate—talk to your child about how they feel about school, what might be happening to make them upset. Listen without judging what your child is saying.
  3. Problem-solve and Support—say to your child, “Together we are going to figure out how to make things better for you. I’m here for you.”
  4. Contact the School—meet with your child’s teacher and guidance counselor to create a plan of action. Listen to the teacher’s suggestions, but also advocate for your child if you think he needs exemptions until he can adjust.
  5. Believe—believe in your child’s ability to overcome adversity, and your parenting skills to help your child succeed.
If symptoms persist see your family physician and mental health clinician. Remember, school anxiety is treatable.
Diane Peters Mayer. MSW, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with children and adults who have anxiety attacks, school anxiety, and panic attacks. She is the author of Overcoming School Anxiety: How to Help Your Child Deal With Separation, Tests, Homework, Bullies, Math Phobia, and Other Worries.

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