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Sunday, October 9, 2011

One Kiss + One Cup of Coffee = Two-gether

By Steph Fink
My husband and I were there…again.  Our once passionate relationship slowly eroded into a business partnership…again.
And, this wasn’t the first time that we’d been “there”.
As devoted parents, volunteers, employees, kids, friends, etc…the hustle and bustle we allowed in our lives made us passing ships in the night.
I woke early one Saturday morning to meet some girlfriends for breakfast.  My husband heard me and said, “Good morning.”  I returned the “Good morning” and went to shower.
Once in the shower I thought, “When did we stop kissing each other first thing in the morning?” 
The following morning I woke early, just cause.  Dave heard me slide out of bed and again gave his, “Good morning.”  I returned his “Good morning” and walked over to his side of the bed to give him a good morning kiss.
About an hour later, Dave came downstairs and asked, “Have you had your coffee yet?”  “Nope, not yet”.  Less than a minute later my coffee was delivered to me, in my favorite pink Minnie Mouse cup that says, “Mornings Aren’t Pretty!” with just the right splash of milk to make my morning java the color that I like it.
It may seem like nothing or insignificant to you.
Romans 12:9a (New International Version) says that, “love must be sincere”.
My husbands’ love language is physical touch.  My kissing him spoke more than just the kiss, it spoke love.  My love language is coffee.  Alright, that love language doesn’t fall neatly under one of Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, but I do sincerely love coffee.  My smooth operator knows just how to love on his honey. 
What you just read above were two people fighting for their marriage.  Fighting for love and passion and running from just a business partnership.
The philosophical question of “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” applied here.  I figured the chicken…so over chicken little went to kiss him good morning.
Doing the math, I see that small gestures add up to big love.
 One kiss + One cup of coffee  = Two=gether
Small gestures forgotten subtract from love.
I remember the day when I’d gussy up for my then boyfriend and somehow, someway…I’d gotten comfortable.  Bed head, sweats and lacking morning kisses took away from the love that I still felt towards my husband. 
I remember the day my husband would go way out of his way to plan a date and somehow, someway…he’d gotten comfortable.  Forgetting to get my door or bring me or a cup of coffee.   
I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t have to be big gestures.  One kiss.  One cup of coffee.  Helps keep us two-gether.
How do we avoid the gentle erosion of our marriage? 
One kiss at a time.
One coffee cup at a time.
By letting the small gestures add up.
The following month we decided to get just plum crazy.  We took a four day getaway while our two sons stayed with the King and Queen of Yes (aka: my in-laws).  It was there we stole extra kisses, drank lots of coffee and bought this sign that now resides in our bathroom, “I love you not because you’re perfect but because you’re perfect for me.”
As imperfect as we are, I love my husband and I know my husband loves me. 
My beloved is mine and I am his… Song of Solomon 2:16a (New International Version)
What is one way you can show your husband love?  If you’re not married, what’s one way you can show love and be kind to yourself?

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Anonymous Steph said...

Thanks for letting me write some joy, some struggles and the joy in struggles here, Trisha. I pray those who are married find they're not alone and encouraged today! :-)

October 9, 2011 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger carpediem5790 said...

THIS IS VERY INSPIRING! Thank you for sharing this. It has reminded me to keep it going, don't take things for granted or eventually 'it' dies. marie

October 9, 2011 at 1:01 PM  
Blogger mochamomx2 said...

Thank you, I needed that!

October 9, 2011 at 4:05 PM  
Blogger mochamomx2 said...

Thank you, I needed that!

October 9, 2011 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger Margie said...

so touching! thank you for the wonderful read. with five young children, we are definitely "business partners" right now and that must change!

October 9, 2011 at 5:22 PM  
Blogger Gwen said...

Oh, so true! I'm in the comfortable phase, and I need to remember that is really IS the small things that make a marriage what it should be - filled with love.

October 9, 2011 at 6:20 PM  
Blogger Pinchbuggies said...

This is an awesome & much needed post :) I love Chuck Swindol & I've read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Love that book! anyway, thanks for sharing this & it's so true we get so comfortable with doing nothing, when we should be sooo comfortable doing somethings! Love is wonderful if it's cared for deeply.

October 10, 2011 at 2:24 PM  
Blogger LAK said...

I love this post, I remember when we were first married Dennis would always kiss me good morning as he left early for work and I still slept. Think I might remind him of that tonight. All those little things do mean a lot.

October 10, 2011 at 5:45 PM  

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