by: Trisha Novotny24/7 MOMS Founder
You know that saying when one allows someone to get away with more then they should? last night when my teen daughter inquired why it was 10:00 pm and her two younger brothers were still up with no sign of going to bed any time soon. I responded with "You know your dad - he let's them get away with murder". Only to then hear her repeat it to all of them while they were watching a movie. Caleb our puzzled boy whom takes everything literally yells out "what, dad did not let me murder anyone". Of course we chuckled and let him know it was only a saying.
After walking away from this conversation I once again realized how different my husband and I parent our children - I want schedules, rules and lots of lists. He wants guidelines, care free days and to fly by the seat of his pants.
It is a Non school night so staying up an hour longer then the typical 8:30pm bed time is fine in my rule book but staying up 2 or 3 hours past bed time is NOT. Apparently it is in the dad's guidelines of having father son time.
So, off to me bed I go to sit and write to you the 24/7 MOMS about why I am OK with allowing my husband to let my kids get away with murder (not literally).
I believe our parenting differences give our kids a balance of rules vs. guidelines, a balance of being completely scheduled to being allowed to relax and be a kid, a balance of going by lists and flying by the seat of their pants. After 21 years on the mommy journey I am now observing my oldest son live out his life being raised by a mom and a dad who parent differently.
He is organized, makes lists, has rules in his home with his room mates and keeps to a daily schedule and then I see the balance take over as he allows himself the freedom to relax, toss aside his to do lists, let things go and fly by the seat of his pants enjoying the journey of life. Thus I am thankful he and his siblings have a dad who let's them get away with murder or they just might turn out to be little robots if I was their only parent.
Thankfully tomorrow is a no school day so that the kids can sleep in and I don't have to race around the house packing lunches, making breakfast, brushing kids teeth, making sure clothes are on straight not inside out again and that they have socks on their feet before they run out the door. We can move at a slower pace without to do lists and maybe even fly by the seat of our pants for part of the day that is.
How do you parent differently then the dad ?
I'm the strict one. I feel people must be accountable for their actions. That duty (e.g. homework)comes before play.
ReplyDeleteHubby, lax and would let a homework assignment that is due, be done that morning at breakfast before the bus arrives. However, hubby would want the kiddo to be involved in a volunteer organization of some sort, whereas me, only if they can meet other obligations fully first (e.g. doing well in all their school subjects first).