Bachelor of Arts in Motherhood
Bachelor of Arts in Motherhood
by: Susan Fox
24/7 MOMS Family Life Editor
We often hear it said that being a mother is the most important job in the world. Isn’t it strange that there is no training or course of study offered to women for this most prestigious of jobs? If you were fortunate you learned from a good role model, someone in your life, a mother, grandmother, aunt or friend. Probably no amount of training could really prepare us for this journey that is motherhood. If I were to develop a college degree for women to pursue, its courses would look like this.
Course Catalog
Home
Home Organization for Dummies
Speed Cleaning
Cooking 101, 102, 103
Advanced Meal Planning
Short Order Cooking
Finer Techniques of Laundry Sorting
Advanced Couponing
Management of Insufficient Funds
Daily Repairs without Spousal Assistance
Mental Assistance with Closing Doors to Objectionable Spaces
Health and Wellness
Methods of Rectal Temperature Gauging
Techniques for First Aid and Emergency Room Trips: how to drive to the ER alone with a bleeding/screaming child
Illness Management
Toxic Waste Cleanup
Multi-Tasking Without Mental Breakdown
Immunization Record Keeping Instructions
Non-Threatening Solutions to Picky Eating
School/Education
Early Childhood Education
Communication with Teachers
Preschool Art Appreciation
Basic Math Grades 1-12
Algebra and All Other Math Unintelligible to Parents and Useless for Future Living
Creative Excusive Note Writing
Basic Explanation Techniques of Anatomy and Physiology to Toddlers
Modern Day Living
Taxi Driving
Basics of Toy Assembly
Post-Modern Methods of Parental Texting
Transportable, Edible and Eco Friendly Lunches
Socialization with Other Mothers
Multiple Activity Scheduling
Searching Techniques for Lost Items
Skills for Speaking on the Telephone with Screaming Toddler at Your Ankles
Mastering the Art of Glaring at Strangers in the Grocery Store Who Look at You with the “OMG, Control Your Children Look”
Family Psychology and Relations
Critical Thinking and Argumentation
Interpreting Differential between Illness and Math Tests
Planning of Effective Restrictions
Faking Sympathy for Apathetic Teenagers
Theories of Sibling Personality
Conflict Resolution and Negotiation
Tantrum Intervention
Fundamentals of Debating a Teenager
Guilt Reduction and Rejecting Pleas from the PTA
Labels: Motherhood, Parenting
1 Comments:
Additional credit course:
"NO"
Course object:
Communicating "NO" to any child of any age and have them comply without seeking out a Fatherly source of "YES" to counteract your "NO."
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