Real MOMS - Real Questions - Real Answers

24/7 MOMS is beginning a NEW weekly Real Moms- Real Questions - Real Answers column.

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We want Real Mom answers so Please after reading our weekly questions feel free to share your own comments/answers to this weeks question.

This weeks Real Mom Question:

Real MOM Question: Should my 16-year old daughter be allowed to stay the night at her boyfriends house?

I a REAL MOM was approached by a co-worker today with this question. Here is the rest of the story. My friend has met the boyfriend and his parents and says he is a nice boy. She trusts her daughter and has had no reason to believe she is sexually active or sneaking out, etc. She and her daughter talk often about sex and being responsible. The girl lives about an hour from the boyfriend and they will be hanging out all day on a week night and instead of coming home his parents have agreed to let her stay the night. Separate sleeping quarters.

Here is MY Real MOM take, no expert of course, I have a daughter myself and know that I could face the same question one day. I do however have a very close cousin who calls me her aunt, that is 17. Let's first start by saying my mom's generation, my generation and that of 16-17 year olds are VERY different. What was once unacceptable or unthinkable is now becoming very common. In my mom's generation this situation would not have even existed. In my generation it may have occasionally but would have been more like sneaking out of the house. In this generation staying the night at your boyfriend or girlfriends house is becoming increasingly acceptable, however it may or may not be RIGHT.

I am in hopes that for my daughters choice and self respect she will wait until marriage to have sex. (and for my sanity). But let's be real here and look at today's society. I can instill upon her values until I turn blue in the face. Ultimately she will make the decision she wants to make. I am hoping I will have an open honest relationship with her and that when she decides to make life decisions she can trust me and feel comfortable talking to me about those decisions. I cannot say I waited until marriage and therefore can only hope she will.

I tell my aunt (who is more like my sister since we are only 8 years apart) that she needs to let her daughter make her own decisions and not step in too much in life. The choices we make and the mistakes we make, mold us as women. We cannot shelter our children from hurt and pain although we want to everyday.

Thanks,
REAL MOM


Real MOM Answers - 24/7 MOMS what would you do?

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