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Wednesday, July 2, 2008

One Tough Mother Book Chat - week one


Grab your cup of coffee or glass of iced tea, and lets’ chat about the book One Tough Mother.

Are you already One Tough Mother?

After reading chapter one and Julie's description of Mrs. Murle Woolston, I have to admit I am only 50% tough mother. Oh, I have house rules that I expect both my children and the neighbor children to follow, yet I slack off at times and don’t always enforce them the way I should. I get busy cleaning, cooking, typing at my computer or chatting with a friend, and before I know it rules are broken, and the Tough Mother has failed again.

So where do I go from here? Since I am only a 50% Tough Mother, I jump in and begin reading chapter 2 and discover the Top 3 qualities/characteristics that equip me as a Tough Mother. I am already feeling like I can tackle this Tough Mother thing more than 50% of the time.

Characteristic #1: One Tough Mother Resolutely Knows What’s Important

Resolute means to accomplish a goal with determination and firmness. WHEW – so if we together set this goal of becoming Tough Mothers, with our joint determination and firmness we can expect to accomplish it and become Tough Mothers together.

Knowing what is important and what matters as a Mom is asking myself “What do I want to accomplish as a Mom at the end of my day, week, month, year and a lifetime?"

My answer is NOT deep or complicated: I want to raise my children to have a personal relationship with God and place priority on their family.

In the end it gets right down to what is really important and what matters. Think about what matters to you. What’s really important to you in your role as a mother?

Characteristic #2: One Tough Mother Knows She’s Not God
Yes, we want to control and dictate the daily happenings and lifelong out-comes of these little people in our lives, but let’s face it - we are the Mom, and God is in charge, not us. Besides, do you really want that job?

This is sort of a letting go and letting God handle it deal. We as Moms want to hang on, give our two cents of wisdom as often as possible, and be in CONTROL of our children's lives. I have personally discovered in my MOM journey that no matter how much I am with my kids, know where they are, and take care of their every need, I still am NOT in control. God is. I am daily learning to let go and let God.

What area of mothering are you hanging onto?

Characteristic #3: One Tough Mother Holds on to Her Sexy Self
I loved what Julie said on page 25: "It’s about you being comfortable in your skin and enjoying every moment – okay, let’s try for a more realistic 83.5 percent of the moments."–

Let’s be honest. At some point in our getting older after baby days, we have all dreamt of being 16 again with that young looking skin or youthful body shape, and even the freedom of only having to think about ourselves. Then reality sets in and we look in the mirror and realize that motherhood has changed us. (Age, too.)

What image do you have of yourselves from the past or what image you have always dreamt of being?

If we are going to be One Tough Mothers then we have to be happy with who we are and choose to live in the present, becoming confident in who we are TODAY, not our high school days or our pre-baby days, but today - being the sexy mama you really are now.

As Julie says, "There you have it – the foundation for our One Tough Mother status: know what’s important, let God be God, and hold off on taking the divine reins! And, make it a priority to hold on to that sexy self of yours."

I look forward to reading Chapters 3 and 4 and beginning the journey of discovering together the 10 principles that are going to move me from being a 50% Tough Mother to a 100% Tough Mother (most of the time).

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on Chapters 1 and 2!

I have posted a few questions to ponder below. Comment and share with the other 24/7 MOMS book club readers about becoming One Tough Mother.


Questions to ponder and comment on:
Do you have house rules for your children and neighbor children?

What are they?

My top 5 house rules are


1. Take your shoes off when you enter the House (No shoes allowed).
2. No spill-able food or drink allowed in the bonus room. The Kitchen was built for eating in. (Only snacks that can easily be vacuumed up are allowed.)
3. No running or slamming doors allowed EVER. Outside is where we run.
4. If you make a mess, clean it up. (Choose to dump 5 bins of toys out, choose to sort it back in the correct bins).
5. Make good choices. Treat each other with kindness.


Why are you doing what you’re doing, and what do you want out of this entire mothering thing?

Do you hold on too tightly to your kids? Do you need to let go and let God?

What image of your self are you holding onto that you need to let go of and live in the present?

Will you choose to be realistic and reclaim your confidence as attractive women (sexy mama)?

What was your ah-ha (key thing) in chapter 1 or 2 for you as One Tough Mother?

Chat with you next week over Chapter 3 and 4 of One Tough Mother


1 comment:

  1. (I was gone over the Fourth and feel like I'm just now catching up, but I do feel like I ought to participate in this discussion, since I voted for this book.)

    I really don't have a lot of house rules and, at just-turned-two, my daughter hasn't been having a lot of neighbor children over yet. The only one I can think of is that toys must be picked up and put away at either the end of the play date or (for my daughter alone) the end of the day.

    What do I want out of this mothering thing? Well, I've actually thought about those goals before -- http://topaztook.livejournal.com/108729.html -- I just need to remember them and put them into practice:

    1) Give her a strong foundation in Christian faith and practices

    2) Maximize her intellectual capacity: prepare her to attend college or other post-secondary education*; and make it possible for her to go.

    3) She should be prepared to do the functional things required to care for herself and a household

    4) Create and maintain strong relationships with extended family and with friends, so that she has a connection to family and a support network beyond our immediate nuclear family.

    I was teased in school about being unattractive. I need to move on -- it's been 20 years, for pity's sake. (Mostly I can, but it's always there.) Next year's focus for me is going to include beauty "treatments" and such.

    I'm not sure what my "a-ha" moment was from these chapters, except maybe the need to be resolute and keep thinking of those mothering goals.

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